Don't Be Left Wondering
by Mac-alicious
Summary: You're gonna wonder what would have happened if you had gone after her. Don't be left wondering. [GJ7B.X's Oneshot Challenge, 30 Well I tell you my friend...]


**A/N: **This is the next entry in GJ7B.X's 30 Oneshot Challenge, it was inspired by the bolded line below. Of course this was a line from one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite songs, but I went in a different direction than the song. This idea was the first thing that came to mind when I read the line out of the context of the song. So it isn't an abuse story based on Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's Face Down. It's more light hearted. Anyway, it might not be blatantly obvious but Derek and Casey have been dating for almost three years before the beginning of this story. I don't know, when I reread this it didn't seem like it was obvious, so I just wanted to add that little note. Anyhow. R&R Thanks. –Mac

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LWD, or the lyric from Face Down just below this disclaimer.

**#30 "Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this worlds going to end"**

**Don't Be Left Wondering**

After high school, four years of college, and a year at a dead end job (that only resembled what she wanted to do with her life a little if you squinted), Casey was finally moving up and out. She had gotten a job (above entry level with good chance for advancement) in New York and her father was helping set her up in an apartment. She had so much to look forward to. The only problem lay with Derek, everything she was leaving behind.

Derek had put on a strong face, too stubborn to let Casey past that façade. He did everything he could to convince her that he was alright. He could barely hold himself together when she began packing up all her things from the apartment they had shared for the past three years, but he held strong. For her, he held strong.

He was so proud of her, he was genuinely happy for her. He wanted all of her dreams to come true and he would do anything in his power to make them happen. If that meant she had to leave, if that meant he couldn't keep her with him, if that meant he had to let her go—he would do it. He would do absolutely anything for her, no matter what it cost him. As long as she was happy, he was happy (or he feigned happy for as long as it took for her to believe it).

So when Casey had greeted the job opportunity with giddy shrieks of joy, Derek put aside every negative feeling that bubbled up inside of him and forced himself to match how excited she was. When she asked for his help with preparation fro the move, he helped pack and did all the heavy lifting. When she tried to talk to him about what it all meant for their relationship, he changed the subject.

When the time came to see Casey off, Derek politely refused the offer to accompany her to the airport with the rest of the family. He tried to ignore the crestfallen look on Casey's face and told himself it was for the best. He didn't want her to have to leave without a proper goodbye from him, but he knew if he was at the airport when she left he would break down and beg her to stay—and he couldn't do that, not to her and not to himself.

That didn't mean he was coping too well back at his now half empty apartment. Not even five minutes after that door closed behind Casey, Derek had called Sam to come over and had a beer in his hand. He was sitting on his couch waiting for reality to catch up with him when the door bell rang. He got up to open the door to let Sam in—he felt numb, as if his actions were completely on autopilot. He shouldn't have been surprised, he had said himself that Casey alone made him feel alive.

Sam stepped into the apartment as soon as the door opened for him, "Derek. How you holding up?"

"Just fine. Nothing a drink can't solve." Derek responded, heading for the fridge, "Beer?"

"No thanks." Sam shook his head.

Derek closed the fridge with a slam, and took a swig of his own drink, "Suit yourself."

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say you didn't ask her."

"Of course I didn't ask her." Derek answered, dropping down onto the couch and Sam sat next to him. "One of two things would have happened. One she would have said no and it would have hurt twenty times worse. Or two, she would have said yes and then felt obligated to stay. I couldn't do that to her."

"She wouldn't have said no."

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't go to the airport with her. I couldn't say goodbye. I couldn't tell her I love her, or that we would work something out. I just let her go. I had to." Derek shook his head, "I'm a coward."

"No you aren't, man." Sam corrected.

"I just couldn't ask her to turn her back on her dreams, not for me."

"You never gave her a chance to choose you." Sam replied. "You never let her have any choice but leaving. Maybe she…"

Derek cut him off, "I want her to do whatever she wants, without having to consider how I feel."

"Okay, let's say you could have your dream job, playing in the NHL for your favorite team and going for the Stanley Cup." Sam began.

"I gave up on that, a _long_ time ago." Derek broke in. "I got realistic."

"Well let's just say you could have it, everything you dreamed as a kid, but it meant having to give up Casey." Sam continued, "What would you choose? The dream? Or Casey?"

"Casey." Derek answered automatically, "Because all of that wouldn't mean anything without her." Derek looked up at Sam. "But that's different."

"All I'm going to say is that one day this is all going to be over and you're going to wish you hadn't let her go." Sam said, "You're gonna wonder what would have happened if you asked her to stay. You're gonna wonder what would have happened if you gave her that ring you've been carrying around for three months. You're gonna wonder what would have happened if you had gone after her. Don't be left wondering." Sam glanced at his watch. "Look you still got time before her plane leaves; we can make it if we go now."

Derek's response came in the form of him jumping to his feet, grabbing his jacket (still leather) and heading for the door. Sam pulled his keys from his pocket and followed Derek out the door. As they got into Sam's car, Derek clapped him on the shoulder and offered him a smile.

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around all these years for a reason." Derek said.

"Yeah so I can talk you out of doing something stupid." Sam added.

Sam drove them to the airport as quickly as he could. Once they arrived, finding the loading and unloading zone too packed to find room, he parked what felt like a million miles away and ran the distance to the airport entrance with Derek. They didn't stop until they were a ways inside the door.

"She's probably already through security. You're going to have to buy a ticket."

Derek hurried over to the desk—which fortunately didn't have much of a line, Derek thanked God that it wasn't a holiday or tourist season. The lady at the desk gave him an awkward smile at his behavior (the kind that says she'll be talking about him during her break under the category "craziest thing that has happened while at work"). Derek asked for a ticket onto Casey's flight and when the lady informed him there were no seats left, he frantically asked for the cheapest ticket that would get him through security. She gave him a price and that smile again, and Derek reached into his pocket for his wallet.

"Shit." Derek exclaimed.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Jacket, keys, ring and _wallet_." Derek muttered under his breath. Then to Sam, "I forgot my wallet."

Sam immediately pulled out his wallet. Plucking a credit card out of its place, he handed it to the lady, "Charge it on this."

Derek allowed himself to breath, "Thanks, I will so pay you back."

Sam took his card and the ticket from the lady, handing the ticket to Derek he said, "Don't worry about it. Consider it my engagement gift to the two of you."

"She has to say yes first."

"She will. Let's go."

They weaved through the small crowd that moved about the airport. Derek thought he passed his very confused looking family, but he figured he may or may not have imagined the dulled call of 'Smerek!' Either way, he didn't have time to stop and chat, not if he really wanted to catch her.

"Good luck." Sam said as they reached the security checkpoint.

"Thanks." Derek nodded. "I guess I'll see you soon."

Derek handed over his ticket. He stumbled out of his shoes and shoved them in a tray with his jacket and keys. Once he was through the metal detector he gathered it all up and started to search for the right gate. He shoved his keys into his pocket, slipped on his jacket and tried to op back into his shoes as he moved forward. He vaguely remembered from seeing her ticket where to go. When he finally caught sight of her, he couldn't help but yell out for her.

"Casey!"

Her head shot up and her eyes opened wide, "Derek? What are you doing here?"

As he caught his breath, he choked out, "I couldn't let you leave without telling you…"

"Telling me what?" Casey asked.

"That I love you. I love you so much, no matter where you are or what you're doing. I don't think I could survive without you." Derek finished and before he could stop himself, he dropped down onto one knee.

Casey gasped, "Derek…"

"Casey, will you marry me?" Derek swallowed nervously as he waited for an answer.

"Of course!" Casey answered and squealed when Derek stood and pulled her into a kiss. When they pulled back, Casey smiled, "I thought you were angry at me for going, you would barely talk to me."

"I thought it was for the best." Derek responded. "I thought letting you go was better for the both of us."

The announcement to begin boarding came over the loud speakers, and Casey looked at Derek with a sad smile, "What are we going to do?"

Derek smiled, "Maybe New York isn't such a bad place to live."


End file.
